I was already tired y’all.
Most of the winter, ii :
in extended Hibernation,
processing deep Root & Sacral work,
Lifelong insecurity of the home, trauma, patterns,
conditioning, programming, ancestral lines, spirit families,
allowing so much to come up & pass through, Transmute, clear.
Manifested through my body with a month
of debilitating sciatica & neck pain
(chakra centers calling my attention!)
starting January Full Moon.
I knew -
this was a physical manifestation
calling me to Let Go. Of so much.
I guided myself through the work,
Actively acknowledging and engaging
That Which Needs to Be Released.
And it’s all a very personal & private process,
yet in some ways so Universal as well.
It sounds like it might have been heavy,
but there is a Freedom and a Lightness
that grows from the Release.
It’s all about Perspective.
Sometimes the private process is so active,
Public process must be put on Pause.
Communication efforts are directed Inward
rather than Outward.
I Cocoon, have very little interaction
outside my family.
This push & pull between
Private & Public has been a theme
of my Life & my Work for many years.
It’s not that one is Good and one is Bad.
It’s about where we need to focus our Attention, right now.
I’ve been fortunate to construct a life
that allows for that Ebb & Flow.
So - over the years,
periods of Radio Silence.
Even when I’m outwardly quiet,
perhaps even ‘unproductive,’
there is a Percolating,
Simmering of Mind Stew,
Seeds germinating below the surface.
Beyond these inner workings,
I felt something else in the air.
Like birds that go silent before a storm,
not knowing what was coming
or even that I was feeling it,
there was a reticence
to emerge from my chrysalis.
Just as I was convincing myself to come out of Hibernation -
This. In one day, the Whole World
Different Places and People had their ‘Oh Shit’ Day,
But a Ripple Effect has been felt
around the World.
And I feel it All.
I can protect myself; but sometimes,
it feels that part of my Role
Is to Transmute, to take some time
to Honor the pain, fear, uncertainty, insecurity,
the spectrum of what folks around the World,
my human family,
I’ve been Grieving, Mourning;
not because I’m in Disaster Mentality,
but for the people whose lives are being
upended right now, businesses
that won’t make it through, dreams lost….
Like a child
who goes Selectively Mute
in a time of Trauma,
I have just been
unable to go about Business as Usual,
but taking care of business on the homefront.
Paying Attention, Resting,
living pretty free-flow,
binge-watching, indulging in mindlessness & folly,
allowing a Reset,
Reprogramming, Slowing Down,
Some of the most meaningful aspects of my life
have been at Full Stop for a Moment.
I Know I am Here to hold space for these
birthing pains being felt,
which I can only Hope, are Ultimately
in service to the New Earth.
I know I am Here to hold space
for those lovely souls who need a Witness
and perhaps a Guide as we navigate our Way.
I just needed some
And I do Trust,most of the time, that
All is in Divine Order.
So much of my work in the world is about in-person human connection,
whether 1:1 or in a group setting.
Feeling the presence of their beings,
that which is Seen and Unseen.
It’s like the difference between viewing art in-person versus a book or online.
I have been missing that the most,
in-person Soul Connections.
I have been reticent to face the reality
that now I must shift my systems of communication
to accommodate this new Paradigm of Connection
where I must Imagine you are here in person with me.
It hurts my heart and confounds my mind.
I will find my way.
As will you.
Know that if you’ve been feeling Off,
Sad, afraid, or just breaking down crying randomly,
Cuz this shit is hard!
If you have lost a loved one, or someone that you know,
please accept my sincerest condolences.
And know that perhaps they have gone to join the Angels
Because there is something much greater at work here.
We all have been going through our own phases
of Reaction and Response.
Honor what you feel. Don’t hurry through this.
Allow yourself to explore the Metaphor
underpinning this whole situation.
Mother Earth’s lungs have been under attack,
Disrespect for Pachamama running rampant,
Corporate greed, Consumerism, & Conflict at an alltime high.
People have been crying out that
This Way is Unsustainable.
And here we are….
Once Upon a Time,
Mother Nature put the Humans in TIME OUT.
It feels like the sky is falling.
But look at the good coming from this
Period of Pause - the Corona Times…
Air pollution clearing in historically polluted urban centers,
carbon emissions plummeting,
ozone holes shrinking, energies shifting away from War to saving lives.
In some places, high-paced societies forced to slow down and re-evaluate their lives.
Having an opportunity to really get Time with oneself, one’s partner, one’s family.
Deepening relationships. Shifting values.
Reconnecting with Nature. Feet on Earth.
Taking time to smell the flowers.
Remembering what matters.
Offering gratitude, daily.
You may feel some uncomfortable feelings.
Birth is often a painful process, and very hard work.
We are all connected. Separation is an Illusion.
There is more to life than meets the eye.
There are greater forces at work.
Rather than looking at this pandemic as a curse,
Can you see it as a Blessing?
Find the silver linings in these storm clouds?
What has this come to teach me?
What has this come to teach us?
How do I wish to move forward from here?
What is Normal?
Every day, try to remember -
Be Patient with your Self, Kind, Loving,
Compassionate, and Forgiving.
Treat your Self with the same Caring
you so easily share with others.
I love you.
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